Okay, I'll admit it. My first new thing is probably the biggest one. I joined an online dating website. I haven't dated anyone in almost 3 years, so I figured it's worth a try.
I'd like to address my confidence for a moment here. Overall, I'm outwardly a very confident person around people I know well. To my high school friends and co-workers, I have this feeling of control that exhilarates me when I come back home for vacations. I love it. It's almost like they contain a part of me, and I only really get to live out this part of me when I'm with them.
Now, on to the unconfident part of me. A week ago, I was working with someone who I thought was attractive, and it wasn't the fact that I was attracted to him and knew he wasn't my type that really bothered me. It was the fact that I immediately assumed right off that bat that I would not exist to him. Cue every typical teenage comedy from the 80's. After a pep talk with my high school friends, I realized it's not that I don't have control over the situation, it's that I don't take control over the situation. I could probably talk to most guys that I normally would think I don't have a chance with and probably up the odds a little. I simply don't.
So... the dating website. It's weird having to make a campaign for yourself as a romantic partner in 6 paragraphs. It strangely enough reminds me of writing my college essays, and I find myself trying to combine intellectual material, quirky personality traits, and a comedic yet smooth writing style for a majority of people who will respond with "hi how r u?" in a mass email.
I feel like this is still the easy part, though. Upload a picture of yourself and brave yourself against the wash of interest from guys. Meeting people, trying to keep up conversation, even gambling with your emotions- that's going to be the real sticky patch. We'll have to cross that bridge when we get there.
On a side note, my greatest fear in joining a dating website is that I'll find a co-worker on it. Done and done. I'm not sure whether to laugh over it or feel relieved that it happened.