Okay, I'll admit it. My first new thing is probably the biggest one. I joined an online dating website. I haven't dated anyone in almost 3 years, so I figured it's worth a try.
I'd like to address my confidence for a moment here. Overall, I'm outwardly a very confident person around people I know well. To my high school friends and co-workers, I have this feeling of control that exhilarates me when I come back home for vacations. I love it. It's almost like they contain a part of me, and I only really get to live out this part of me when I'm with them.
Now, on to the unconfident part of me. A week ago, I was working with someone who I thought was attractive, and it wasn't the fact that I was attracted to him and knew he wasn't my type that really bothered me. It was the fact that I immediately assumed right off that bat that I would not exist to him. Cue every typical teenage comedy from the 80's. After a pep talk with my high school friends, I realized it's not that I don't have control over the situation, it's that I don't take control over the situation. I could probably talk to most guys that I normally would think I don't have a chance with and probably up the odds a little. I simply don't.
So... the dating website. It's weird having to make a campaign for yourself as a romantic partner in 6 paragraphs. It strangely enough reminds me of writing my college essays, and I find myself trying to combine intellectual material, quirky personality traits, and a comedic yet smooth writing style for a majority of people who will respond with "hi how r u?" in a mass email.
I feel like this is still the easy part, though. Upload a picture of yourself and brave yourself against the wash of interest from guys. Meeting people, trying to keep up conversation, even gambling with your emotions- that's going to be the real sticky patch. We'll have to cross that bridge when we get there.
On a side note, my greatest fear in joining a dating website is that I'll find a co-worker on it. Done and done. I'm not sure whether to laugh over it or feel relieved that it happened.
whoa, does your coworker work in the same dept as you?
ReplyDeletei found one of my brother's friends, a long-lost chinese school classmate (as you know), and a girl who was in choir with me after she had gone out with the same guy i had! auughhh gross...it's like online dating incest! *shivers* she's a really really cool person though..now i kind of want to fb message her and commiserate over bad blind dates. :P