I feel strangely like going on a dating website has been good for trying new activities instead of meeting new people. Because I learned breakdancing on another first date. I've realized that I don't like date-y first dates. I like fun first dates.
Anyway, I asked someone to teach me how to breakdance, and he came up with a couple tricks he thought I could do. I've learned a few moves before, but I've never learned a routine, or even how to do the tricks properly, seeing as I once did a six-step for a friend who acted as if I'd thrown acid into his eyes.
My teacher got a couple moves together for a routine. I mostly wanted to work on toprocking, so he taught me those as basics. Then he did a bunch of floorwork: six-step, seven-step, four-step, cee-cee's (I'm not sure how you spell it...).
The part I had the most trouble with was actually the ending pose. This is particularly relevant in battles, where you have to be creative, you have to bring your own style, and apparently there's a format where you pose at the end. I don't have any swag, so I'd do the routines, stand back up, and announce "and then I pose" instead of just doing it. My teacher seemed rather baffled.
"Anything can be a pose!" He showed me all sorts of things people have done, and we laughed over a lot of them, but I wasn't really sure what to do. He showed me lots of things, and I felt like I could do them if I was just standing off to the side, but not incorporate them into the routine.
I feel like part of it is this fear of doing something "for reals." As long as you're not chasing something 100%, you never have to face the fact that you could suck at it. You just know that you have potential. If I don't do a move for reals, you have that excuse for if it sucks. There's a strength and a dedication for people who watch themselves to improve themselves. My supervisor used to make fun of me for listening to myself play violin. He said it was very ego-driven. I think he wouldn't say that if he realized how much I criticize myself while listening to myself.
I'm thinking of recording myself dancing, just to force myself to really look at it. For reals.